Our son is a great sleeper. Even in those notoriously restless first few months of infancy, he was predictable, consistent, and generally easy for naps and bedtimes.
Isn’t that always one of the first questions people ask a new parent: “How’s he sleeping?” I dreaded answering honestly for fear of jinxing a good thing. I still feel pangs of guilt for getting so lucky on the sleeping issue early on. Believe me, it had nothing to do with our phenomenal parenting skills.
But then, every once in a while, we’ll have phases like the one we’re going through right now. Des has been fighting sleep like we’re trying to feed him vegetables (a whole ). He’s lacking the proper amount of sleep, which means he’s cranky, which affects every other aspect of our days. Sigh.
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He usually comes out of these phases within a week or two. Which is just enough time for us to research sleep training techniques and try them for a little bit, only for him to magically return to his restful ways. We’re in the clear! Tear up those techniques and throw them out the window!
But we are hitting that desperation point again. So it’s time to revisit sleep training. There are a million books and strategies out there. I couldn’t possibly cover them all, so here are just a couple and how they worked (or didn’t work) for us.
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Disclaimer: Most sleep training is not recommended until 4-6 months old.
Ferber Method/Cry-it-out: This has taken a lot of heat over the years, but it is not as cruel as people perceive. You do not leave your child to cry for hours until they are so exhausted they fall asleep. It’s a training method based on the idea that falling and staying asleep is a skill to be learned like any other. In a nutshell, you place the child in the crib to fall asleep on his/her own, and if they cry (which they likely will to start off) you return in intervals to reassure them that you are nearby.
We have tried a variation of this method a few times. Each time it leads to Des becoming so upset that he vomits. And not just a little pukey, we’re talking everything he had eaten in the last half a day all over himself, his crib, and an 8x10 area rug. Needless to say, we will not be re-visiting this method. But I have heard many success stories from those that follow it.
The Sleep Lady Shuffle: This is heralded as being gentler than cry-it-out. The gist is you stay in the room next to the crib. You only pick them up if they are crying to the point that they need to be held. Otherwise, you just sit next to the crib until they fall asleep. After a few days of that, you remain in the room but move closer to the door. Then in a few more days, you sit right by the door and so on, until eventually you are out of the room. Your child gradually learns that you are always close by even if you can’t be seen or felt.
Our issue is that we get stuck in phase one of the shuffle. In the past Des has typically gotten over his sleep issues before we have to move on to the next phase. But this time may be different. Through our own fault, we are currently stuck in a pattern of lying on the floor next to Des’s crib every night, and we have the back aches to prove it.
This is just another stumbling block among many as we go through this journey of parenthood. Here’s hoping we can get our act in gear and find our way to the other side of this phase quickly.
Until then... YAWN.
